Once upon a time, filled with youthful enthusiasm and
naiveté, I believed that one day I would finally get life right . . . that my
life would be fully on target . . . that I would be the person God intended me
to be.
There is nothing like adulthood to take care of youthful
enthusiasm and naiveté. My life is not
always on target. In fact, there are
days when I can’t even see the target.
As for being the person God intended me to be, this too, according to
the standards of the young man I once was, eludes me.
Realizing this, I marvel that I am not in deep depression
and suicidal. I might be, were it not
for one important discovery. As a youth,
not only did I believe that one day I would get all of life right, but I also
believed that in doing so all would be right with me and with my world. Believing the latter has made the journey
toward the former almost impossible.
All is not right with my world, and all the believing and
all the faith-having I can muster will not make it so. Coming to Jesus will give me salvation, but
it will not make all things right.
Following Jesus will lead to my becoming more than I could otherwise
become, but I will still face difficulty from the normal ravages of life, and I
will face other difficulties because of the choice to follow Jesus.
I give thanks that I’ve lived long enough to discover
this about myself and about God. I am a
more contented follower of Jesus now that I know I still haven’t got it all
together. I am not content because I
haven’t got it all together; I am content in spite of the fact that I
haven’t.
God’s invitation spoken through Isaiah means so much more
to me today than it did in my youth.
“Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no
money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine
and milk without money and without price.”
I may not be all God intended me to be, but I am at God’s table. I am refreshed and nourished. And, in spite of all I am not, I am God’s
child.
How is it possible for me (and folks like me) to miss the
target so widely and still be the recipient of God’s grace? It is possible because God says, “For my
thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.”
All is not right with the world or with me, but that's okay. I am more than I might ever have been because I heard God’s
invitation and I drink and eat at God’s table.
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